Introduction to Biting and hitting in toddlers, understanding what causes this behaviour and some tried and tested ways to deal with it.
The terrible twos – the term is the bane of all parents and caregivers. The early years biting and hitting in toddlers, and tantrums are worst between the ages of 18 – 30 months. The children can seem impossible to handle and control at that age, however, this is a temporary phase and fairly common amongst toddlers. Very rarely, does the biting and hitting in the early years setting carry on beyond three years of age.
If your child is going through this stage, this article will help you understand the causes and will tell you how to deal with a biting and hitting toddler.
Is It normal for chidlren to go through a biting and hitting in toddlers phase?
Yes, it is perfectly normal for a toddler to hit and bite. It is a part of their developmental process and this behavior is considered a part of the growing process. Despite being a normal developmental process, it can be a distressing behavior for parents and caregivers. Most children outgrow these temper and tantrum issues and will stop hitting and biting, but that doesn’t mean you should not intervene. There are plenty of ways to prevent it biting and hitting in toddlers and intervention both at home and at school is essential. Before intervention, you need to understand the reason behind the behavior.
Why do Children have a 'biting and hitting toddler' phase?
- To relieve teething pain
- Trying to grab attention
- Self-defense
- Hunger
- Sleepiness or Tiredness
- Experimenting with causes and effect
- Testing limits
- Lack of self-control as it is yet to fully develop
- Emulating Peers
- Expressing emotions and emotional distress.
Biting and hitting in toddlers phase.
Biting and hitting in toddlers is a sign the child is just trying to communicate in some manner or the other and when the effort is not entirely successful they resort to the next best thing they know, which is to get physical and kick, bite, or hit.
Even though this is a normal thing, the carers need to respond and prevent such behavior as it is antisocial and can harm someone else.
In the next section of this article, we will discuss ways to prevent and control biting and hitting in toddlers.
What to Do If Your Child Is going through a Biting and hitting toddler phase.
Biting and hitting toddlers does stop as the child grows physically and emotionally, however, the parents need to control the situation and let the child know that this is not acceptable behavior. Checking it early will prevent it from becoming a pattern. In the EYFS setting, the child needs to be trained more than corrected. When a child is frustrated, angry, or irritable, it may seem logical for him/her to bite or hit a person. The caregiver’s task is to prevent the continuation and escalation of such behavior. Here is a list of do’s and don’ts to deal with this situation:
Don’t
Punish- punishment doesn’t achieve anything in a biting and hitting toddler. Shouting or threatening the child that he/she is naughty, only makes the child more aggressive. Remember the child is dealing with emotions he/she is unable to express, hence instead of aggression, the child needs positive discipline.
Hit or Spank – Hitting or spanking a child to prevent hitting or biting is counterproductive as it is setting a wrong role model for the child. You are, in fact, encouraging the very same behavior you expect your child to stop. Slapping, hitting and spanking all tell the child that this is the only way to make someone behave appropriately, which is not the right message you wish to convey.
Talk or Reprimand – Spare the talk and the reprimanding until the child has calmed down and is willing to listen. If there is excessive talking and reprimanding, the child may not listen at all. A biting and hitting toddler needs time to calm down before your approach.
Do’s
Remain calm – if the caregiver is calm and composed and not panicking, the child is more likely to listen and calm down. So maintain your composure and stay calm.
Provide Reassurance – if the child is throwing a tantrum, just hold him/her and talk in a calm soothing voice. Explain to the child that it hurts people when they are hit or bitten. Do not try to bite the child back to show how it hurts, this may backfire.
Physical intervention – if your child is hitting and biting, it is best to restrain them physically. Pick them up and hold them close while trying to calm them down. Release the child only when you are sure that he/she has calmed down and is not likely to bite or hit again.
Short verbal instructions – use short commands in a calm and firm voice to reprimand the child when you notice bad behavior. Just say – No biting, No hitting, No fighting, etc. This is more effective than long talks or shouting.
Consequences – set certain rules for bad behavior and their consequences. If the child has broken a rule then implement the discussed consequences of the action. Hitting and biting can be equally distressing for the victim as well as the aggressor.
Consistency – Once you have set a rule for behavior and its consequences, do not deviate from it. Stick to it no matter what so there is consistency in enforcing the rules.
Pay attention – pay attention to the child and his/her needs. If a child is tired, hungry, or unwell, he/she is more likely to hit and bite.
Each child is unique and so is the way to handle them. Find the best way to deal with the temper tantrums of your child. However, prevention is the best way to avoid unpleasant situations like this, so pay attention to your child’s needs. Small positive changes will reduce the the likelihood of a biting and hitting toddler outburst.
Conclusion - for biting and hitting toddlers
Children are most like to have the most confrontations at school. Thus, you must ensure that your child arrives at school well rested and fed. At GGN, we take care to avoid such confrontations between children. If any incidences of hitting or biting occur, we use positive discipline practices to control and prevent it.
1https://www.medicinenet.com/how_do_i_stop_my_child_from_biting_at_daycare/article.htm
